How can you tell if your "straight" friend has a crush on you and you are a guy?

I have this friend who I have known for less than a year. We would spend quite a bit of time together and I was usually the one who initiated hanging out although he would also do the same. He would send me text messages about how much he missed me and I would do the same. We would send each other messages and tell each other about how much we loved each other especially after I moved away. We would both do the same unprovoked. There were instances that got me to think that he might have wanted to get physical. Some of these include when would drink a little and he one time held his penis and told me that if i were a girl he would **** the **** out of me which moved on to he would **** me anytime...later that night he proceeded to kiss me twice after telling me how great i looked. he told me another night that he was in love with me and he would turn gay for me. one time in my room well actually a couple of times he kept asking to see my penis and told me that he would show me his and when i looked disgusted he started dangling it in his pants. he told me a couple of times too that he wanted to masturbate with me. sometimes with one of his close friends he would touch him in front of me. before i moved away he took me out, bought me lunch and we went to some ordinary restaurant and he ordered an alcoholic drink for no reason then told me that if we play a game and i win he would kiss me. sometimes though when i told him that i missed him he would not say it back but sometimes he would say it repeatedly. After I moved and planned to visit him he ended up spending the night with me and that night he moved to where i was sleeping and when i didn't make a move he went back and then after i offered him something for his cough he offered me a back rub which i declined. The next day he started acting distant and did not want to hang out as much and when i was leaving did not hug me back after i said goodbye. i wanted to give him space and when i tried to ask him about what was wrong he kept saying i was being too sensitive etc... he then canceled our trip and then said some very hurtful things in a couple of our subsequent conversations. He said that basically I was the one who forced him into friendship with me and that I was too needy/clingy and I acted like I was in a relationship with him. He attacked the core of me and justified everything that he said by saying he could not approach me about it. He kept saying that it was a slow process that made it so that he felt like that but it definitely came shortly after we spent that day together. He doesn't seem to be that interested in a lot of women although he has hooked up with a couple before. I don't know where to go from here and I still love him a lot but he still seems angry at me... I noticed too that he would try to test my knowledge of the past and retell events in his own way which I knew did not happen like that. HELP! I don't know how to bring up this elephant without offending him or me looking out of line especially because he comes from a culture that is not very tolerant to the idea although he was born and raised here...



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Sometimes I can't tell if he is serious or not but I don't know how long a joke could last and I noticed too that when it comes to saying things that could be interpreted as gay he does not do it to me in front of his friends but he will do things to them in front of me. I have a hunch too that the I love yous come when he is alone in the room because sometimes on the phone he would hesitate but other times he would say it with no reservation and he began to notice that I would ask him who he was with for a while when I called...and when he started fighting with me he began to become more close to his other friends and make it more public on facebook but i don't know if this was to make me jealous.



I have tried to talk to him several times but he seems to get really angry and continues with attacking me and he acts like there is nothing else that I would be thinking besides this reasons that he gave me about me being clingy etc...



Answer on How can you tell if your "straight" friend has a crush on you and you are a guy?



It sounds like your friend isn't very comfortable with his sexuality. My advice would be to try to make sure that he knows that you're comfortable talking about it with him, eg talk about another friend you may have that has experimented with other guys in a relaxed non-judgmental way. The reason being is that if you try to force him to talk about it, it's likely going to seem like you're confronting him, and it's something that he needs to make the decision to actually talk about or not. Hope that helps and good luck with your friend.

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